It feels like…
I’m walking upstream
through a current strong enough
to pull me under four times over.
They are others, with me
but they are walking along the banks
telling me to ‘just get out of the water.’
But instead of extending a hand in help,
they just move on and leave me behind.
Every once in a while I find a rock
that is strong enough for me to lean on,
and I can rest for a bit.
The rocks always get tired of holding me up,
And when they let go, I’m left drowning,
thrown 50 ft. back again
And nothing is harder
than standing up in that current
when everything in you
is telling you how much easier things would be
if you just let yourself get dragged under.